Wednesday, February 25, 2009

He said, She said

From The Dangerous Book for Boys comes some apt advice for boys in regards to talking to girls: "Remember that girls are as nervous around you as you are around them, if you can imagine such a thing. They think and act rather differently to you, but without them life would be one long football locker room."

Bubba and I got over conversational nervousness a long time ago - but we still do think and act rather differently from each other. And sometimes, I think that Bubba forgets that when talking to me, he's not in the locker room, and I forget that I'm not in the midst of playing "Girl Talk" with my friends. Take, for example, our recent exchanges:

He says: I read a really interesting Paul Krugman article today.

She says: The baby has been kicking like crazy.

He says: I'd like to learn more about Keynsian economics.

She says: I wonder if we should buy a new bouncy chair for the baby.

He says: I'm curious to see how effective the economic stimulus plan will be.

She says: I'm hungry.

He says: I can't believe you don't care about the economic crisis!

She says: I can't believe you don't care about the baby!

For me, my pregnancy is the most important, pressing issue in my life right now, and so naturally it's what I want to talk about. For Bubba, the state of the economy is the most important, pressing issue in the whole world right now, and so naturally it's what he wants to talk about. And I know it's a generalization, but it does seem that women want to talk about internal, personal issues and men want to talk about external, impersonal issues. And that's not all bad. In fact, it's probably a good thing. We can help balance each other out, so instead of being stuck on opposite ends of the internal/external spectrum, we both end up somewhere closer to the middle.

Still, sometimes it's hard to get the conversational teeter-totter to balance. Take, for example, the game of 20 questions Bubba and I played on a trip to Des Moines. Neither one of us were able to guess the correct answer in 20 questions - even though we both hinted that it was something "really easy and obvious." And in hindsight, both answers were. And what were these really easy and obvious answers? Bubba's - the stimulus bill. Mine - an umbilical cord.

I don't know what is located between the football locker room and a rousing game of "Girl Talk," but if you do, let us know. I think if Bubba and I could meet there, we could have a really good conversation.


Molly said...

Oh, Kim! You had me laughing out loud with this post because your conversation was almost identical to mine with Sean when I was 9 months pregnant. Each time. I used to get mad at him because he didn't want to count kicks with me or hear about the somersaults I was feeling from within, because in my mind, that meant he didn't care. Oh, but how this little girl as him wrapped around her finger and only 4 months old. Just you wait.... :)

Brian and Amy said...

So true! Brian is always talking news, politics or finances. I am always talking about the kids or family stuff. I find that I have to repeat everything I say to him. He is constantly thinking about current events, and I think sometimes talking to him about anything else is to difficult for his mind to handle.

Emily said...

Sadly, I don't know if there is anything we can do to bridge these two worlds. Perhaps that is why there are men and women in the world. We balance each other out!It can be totally frustrating though! So, if someone does have a good suggestion, pass it on! P.s. How's is that baby? I wanna hear all the girl-y talk!

Stacy and Mike said...

I am laughing so hard and loud right now. I love the "easy and obvious" answers. Hilarious.

Over here, now that I'm thinking about it ... Mike does not say hardly anything... I need to shut up and let him talk!

Maybe we should talk so I don't have to talk girly talk to him. Maybe tonight I will ask him an "external question."

janel said...

I think it might possibly be Anchorman.

kim and morgan said...

Hilarious and so dang true!!!!!!!!!!! Love your posts Kim. So funny