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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

You Might Be a Red Neck If...

...your son's favorite toy is a disembodied stuffed bear called Little Bear. You can't decide whether to be amused or disturbed by the fact that Little Bear has to turn the pages when a book is read, eat at the dinner table, and take walks with the family.







... your mechanic tells you that the reason your car's "check engine" light is on is because some kind of rodent has chewed through all the electrical wires. This accounts for the several hours you invest searching "rodent prevention" on the internet and wandering the "Pest Control" aisle at the local hardware store.


...your abysmal lack of computer skills leads you to pack your non-functioning computer in a laundry basket and drop it off at the Easy Tech at Staples. You manage to leave the technician suspecting that you are a complete idiot as you attempt to explain the error in language that is anything but technical. Suspicion of idiocy is confirmed when the technician calls to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with said computer.


...you are disappointed to find that the $600 per person/ $300 per child tax rebate doesn't actually apply to you because, the adjusted income amount on your 2007 tax return was too small. You end up receiving only 2/3s of what you expected, leaving you feeling hurt and afraid.


I am increasingly becoming aware that we belong to that demographic of poor, white, hardworking Americans that make up the core of Hillary Clinton's base.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

8 comments:

janel said...

Hey, at least you don't buy shoes at Goodwill, right? That would be the ultimate redneck thing...

Cheryl and William said...

it just means that you will be getting a bigger tax return next year! woo hoo! (the secret of the "economic stimulus" is that it is coming from your tax return next year). And I think that the bear is cuter the way it is now :-) I'm totally lucky that my husband is good at computers or else I would have done the same thing!!

Sadie Joy said...

Kim you are hilarious. If it makes you feel less disturbed about 'little bear' Grace carries around jars of fire ants and bees, showing people her strange collections, these people look around for her irresponsible mother I just hide -I already know what their thinking.

Stacy & Mike said...

Does little Bear talk? What kind of voice does he have? The computer incident is HILARIOUS!!! Rodents eating car wires... not so funny I have never heard of that...what kind of rodents do you have there?
Love the post!

Vic, Linds, and the girls... said...

YA!! a new post! You always make me laugh! Miss ya Kim

Daniel, Lyndsie and Makai said...

Don't we all have some red neck in us? My favorite is Little Bear. I seriously laughed out loud reading this post.

jdm said...

I love that Little Bear has to turn the pages. What the!
I don't even know where to begin with the rodent thing. Why are they chewing wires? Where do you even put said traps? I am so sorry!

Kristen said...

That bear's great! And I think that we will always be part of that poor hard-working white class that will pay for everyone else to live off the government, or should I say our money.